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Ju was physically
abused as a child. She lived with a mother who was
diagnosed with post depression and a father who was
a wife abuser.
Her parent divorced and left six of them with her
mother. She left school at 15 and went to work
waiting tables to help her mother feed them all.
At 18 she met and fell in love and was married soon
after. Then she found out that her husband drank too
much, slept around with other women, a wife abuser
and took drugs. She was divorced at age 20 with two
children. Her husband took their son away and handed
him to his friend. He was sent to jail for an
offence with the law.
Her husband's friend did not want to hand the boy
over to her and demanded money in exchange. The
child had scars on his chest due to burnt from
cigarette butts. That was what he got for crying out
for food.
She
finally managed to get her son back. She left her
children in her mother's care while she left to find
a job.
At 28 she had an accident. Her dress caught fire and
she suffered 2nd degree burns.
With that her self-esteem and self-confidence went
down the pit. She was depressed. She attempted
suicides several times and was given psychiatric
treatments.
After a major surgery and lots of counseling and
support from relatives and friends, she started her
life all over again even with one partly deformed
hand and fingers.
Her anxiety was all the time still present. It was
tougher to find a job. She felt like a disabled
person.
The one thing that kept her going in spite of her
misfortune was her will to be able to feed herself
and sent money for her children. She did not want to
ask for financial support.
At 38 she was diagnosed with cancer of the cervix.
That was a big blow to her. She went through another
depression episode.
"Why me?" was the question she repeatedly asked. Of
course when she asked that question, she got all the
wrong answers. She felt more depressed. She blamed
her father, her mother and everyone for what brought
her sufferings. Worst, she blamed herself.
She agreed to go for the treatments, chemotherapy
and cesium, because she did not want to go through
the pains.
This was when she took the time to look within her.
She thought that she might not live long enough so
she decided to reconnect with her children. It was
not easy especially with her son who had gone
through his own childhood trauma.
She turned to her family for moral support and she
turned to God.
Now eight years later, she is still alive. Waking up
and able to breathe for another day is a gift for
her.
She has two grandchildren whom she adores and that
give her much joy. She takes some jobs every now and
then when her health permits and rests when she
needs it.
Her question has changed. She now asks what is it
she could do to get more out of what is left?
Things happen and happen to us all. Life does not
play favorites. Everyone has a story to tell.
It is how we handle it that matters. We do not have
to wait until a major catastrophe interrupts us to
think of what we should do with our lives.
It is up to us to make or break us. No one can tell
our brain and mind what to do. No one can tell us
what to think of and what to put inside our head.
We have the power to think what we want to think. To
forget past hurts or to linger with them.
We can decide, plan and take action on what we want
to have, do or be. At least when the universe
intervenes, we know that we have done our best.
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Fatimah Musa
provides information, tips
and quotes written to help
people become aware that any
future growth starts with
their personal growth. You
can visit Fatimah at http://www.about-personal-growth.com |
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